Now, Do You Want Your Crow On The Dinner Combo, Or The Super Combo?

(Chinese Kitchen joke, y'all. Sorry.)

In the end, it turned out that Bill Simmons's rule about the Detmers being one hard QB hit away from warming up on the sidelines held sway.

Way to go, Philly chumpstains. You snookered Chris, Rob, and most importantly, me. The conference championship weekend gave us all a lesson in just how smart we aren't, and made me take note that Carolina coach John Fox's defensive skills were highly underrated by this circle.

Now, if you can beat New England in my home state this coming Sunday, then I might just take my hat off to ya.

I strongly doubt it, though.

In other news, I'd play some Whitesnake (namely "Is This Love?") for Butch, but others are picking the music better than me.

Mandatory Football Picks Post

Carolina @ Philly

QB Quality: Donovan F. McNabb (known quality) v. Jake Delhomme (unknown quality). Advantage: Philly

Coaching Quality: I couldn't tell you the name of Carolina's coach, but he's done well to get the Panthers to this point. However, Quincy Carter was shakier than a Jenga tower and Mike Martz was a pussy (37 seconds left, inside the red zone, one timeout left, and you play for the TIE?!). Donovan McNabb isn't (at least this year), and Andy Reid certainly isn't. Advantage: Philly

Running Game: Stephen Davis on bum wheels (and understudies) v. The Incredibly Annoying (fantasy-wise) Running Game By Committee. Advantage: PUSH

Defense (Front 7): Advantage: PUSH
(Secondary): Advantage: Philly

My Pick: Philly

Indianapolis @ New England

QB Quality: Peyton Manning, Born Again Hard v. Tom Brady, Super Bowl Veteran. This will be telling in that so much of both their offenses are pass-oriented. Slight Advantage: Indy

Coaching Quality: Tony Dungy v. Bill Bellichick (sp?), two men in the upper echelon of NFL coaches. However, one has been to a Super Bowl and won, the other has not. Slight Advantage: Old England

Running Game: Edgerrin James v. the iffy Antowain Smith. If the weather turns nasty, look for Edge to have a big day. Advantage: Indy

Kicking Game: Vanderjagt is fairly good, as his string of FGs can attest to. But Adam Vinateri is clutch like he was in the Super Bowl, and proved to be the deciding factor against Teh Flaming Thumbtacks. Advantage: Old England

My Pick: I'd really like Indy to win this, but New England's going to be TOUGH to beat at home. However, you can count on at least one game a playoff weekend running 180 degrees from popular opinion... If I had the money, I'd not be betting a lot of it on this game.

Briefly...

So I managed to eke out a 6th place finish in the Jacksux League, despite my timeshare in the cellar during the regular season. Johnny B, the Ewok who cockblocked me on Priest muthafuggin' Holmes, ended up winning the trophy. Lesson: He who controls Priest muthafuggin' Holmes, controls the league.

You know you play too much Guilty Gear or hang around fans of that game too much when you see people from a new church proleystizing on the busiest intersection in town, holding a sign that says "Heaven or Hell?" and the first thought in your head is... "DUEL 1... LET'S ROCK!"

Song Verse of the Indeterminate Time Period, on or about 16 January 2K4

You juice your fuckin' friends like Dracula
But when we kick you out, you're just broke-ula
You left a big surprise from Pacific Bell
Called all your relatives and your friends in Hell
Now let me tell you something
You fuckin' piece of shit
You'll never have no money
Now tell me, was it worth it?
You leave a trail of lies
That's why you keep moving
We won't come after you
We'd only end up proving
In the end, revenge sends ends to the defendant
I know that statement's true
I wear it like a pendant
I know you'll hear this song
And so I think it's funny
The name is T-------- H----
Thief of trust and money

311
"Silver"
Grassroots (1994)

Real friends don't pay their friends for services rendered with rubber checks, and make them wait over five months (and counting) to make good on them.

You know who you are, fucktard.

A Farewell To Cockbites, or I Get Canned More Than Tuna

This was part of the mammoth post I had together until M$AIEEE decided it wanted to suck. Some of you already know that I got canned from the job I had the last time I wrote about the cockbite. What you may not already know is that it took me the better part of a month to find a replacement. I'll be frying rice at a supermarket chinese place for a while. Wish me luck...

Briefly...

• Chris, you're being too kind by wishing both cancer and AIDS upon your identity thief. Two words, my friend: Ebola Zaire.



• The Condemning Church has changed its name to something more friendly. The word I got was that the pastor made the initial name change to prove a point. I'll have a photo of the signs in front as soon as I can get a camera out there and scan the pic in.



• No new Red vs. Blue because the guys are snowed under in Chicago? FUCKING JIHAD ON COLD FRONTS!

Memewatch



Congratulations! You're Merry!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla



Which Guilty Gear X character are you?