Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 28 March 2K4, Part the First

No time now for losing tempers
Or filling up with rage or anger
Flying off the handle could be detrimental
Calmer heads are called for here

A breath or two might be applied
We'll count to ten and then decide
Rash decision, crash collision
Damage done beyond repair

Kinder words here we could pick
A kind approach might do the trick
Hurt you, hurt me, well, that needs to stop
Kinder words here we could choose
We kinda got a lot to lose
The temperature, we need that to drop

A wrong move now might spell disaster
A selfish one might spell it faster
Let's relax, review the facts
For all involved, it might be best

A world of difference might be made
If our next move could be delayed
We'll sort it out and we'll talk about
Just what it was that caused this mess

Kinder words here we could pick
A kind approach might do the trick
Hurt you, hurt me, that's the worst thing we could do
Kinder words here we could choose
We kinda got a lot to lose
Watch what we say, don't walk away, we'll see it through

[lead break]

Kinder words here we could pick
A kind approach might do the trick
Hurt you, hurt me, well, that needs to stop
Kinder words here we could choose
We kinda got a lot to lose
The temperature, we need that to drop

-- The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
"Kinder Words"
Question the Answers (1994)

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 28 March 2K4, Part the Second

The Champs, "Tequila"

Honorable Mention goes to "Jose Cuervo" by Shelly West, but the gender-specific pronouns and situations tend to be the deal breaker there.

Reason for the selection is simple. We've been getting into making homemade lemonade in the back, and it's pretty darn tasty. Even Mike the manager likes it. Since most of our crew is Hispanic, we started jokingly referring to it as "tequila".

Ladies And Gentlemen, We Have A Winner...

The steam table at work has these detachable bars for holding food pans up. Over the course of a day, these can get rather grody with the leavings of sauces, chicken bits, and what not. Now, normally, these get trucked into the back to be washed with the rest of the dishes. But one guy at work makes no bones about his flat-out refusal to do them. And scrubbing them up front simply Does Not Work with the meager dishcleaning resources available there. It should be noted that nobody else at work, not even the aforementioned Femcockbite, has this problem, preferring to do them up like good little team players. So I toss them into the dishwater, and he chucks them into the sanitizing sink without doing them one bit.

So, B.B. (and I ain't talking about the EMTette tabledriven by the Dudleyz at the first Smackdown! I ever went to live), you are forthwith dubbed a certified Cockbite.

Guess Who's Back? Back Again?

Rob's back off hiatus, and so am I!

Here's his take on the whole situation (less his Closed Captions for the Thinking Impaired):

"Things that have happened since I put my blog on hiatus:
Johnny B got fired.
Butch lost his girl.
Jay lost his girl.
Mikedean turned into a giant uptight dork. (Just kidding. Maybe. BITCH.).
Brock Lesnar left the WWE for football
Matt Spaulding ended up owing on his taxes.
The switch on Easy's brain didn't work. And they brought back the Mullets in spite of his fervent hatred.

Clearly, this blog must be restored or Blog Nation will be homeless in boxes."

Alk is more excited about his move than anybody is entitled to. Of course, he's been in the whole apartment routine ever since I've known him, so getting something with an honest to God yard is thrilling for him. My new digs have an honest to God front yard and fenced-in backyard too, except this is the first time in oh, say, nine years off and on I've been living with my parents that said yards do not contain livestock.

Speaking of mullets, I have officially seen everything as far as mullets go. There was a guy in the store tonight with his head shaved clean, except for the nape of his neck, which was doing the mullet thing. I suppose you might call that a "bal-mullet" or something.

KHAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!!

This seems to sum things up nicely across Blog Nation, methinks.

Here's why:

• Butch's newfound flame drops the Dreaded F-Bomb (and I am not talking about For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge)


• Right about the same time my own newfound flame did so


• Rob T's on blogging hiatus


• Johnny B essentially got screwed out of his (admittedly shite) job


• I got in to work to find that I was short by $40-50 last week with no clue as to how that happened (Instant writeup, just add water)


• Brock Lesnar may be going to play football full time as opposed to wrestling


• My folks are moving over the course of the next two weeks (and as anybody who knows me will tell you, moving is an event I welcome as enthusiastically as oral surgery sans anesthesia)

Good things as of late:

• Chris is back in the States


• Wrestlemania XX results, for the most part -- Cena, Eddy, and Benoit went over (nice to see the traditional underdogs get their time in the sun)


• I got named Recruit Chief Petty Officer of the DEP recruits for Naval Recruiting Station Kerrville (Sailor Jay is gonna make things happen, provided he survives boot)

And They Say Swords & Sorcery Movies Get Shafted By The Academy...

This past weekend, Lord of the Rings: The Return Of The King won every Academy Award it was nominated for, incuding Best Picture. This vote by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences averted worldwide nerd riots. ;)

In Other Movie News

So my grandma got me a seat for a showing of The World's Most Expensive Passion Play, which you will only have not heard of if you have spent this year and the last living under a rock. And what some have said is true: you don't watch it, you live it.

I am issuing an open challenge to everybody who reads this, no matter what your use for Judeo-Christian teachings is, to watch the flogging scene without wincing or flinching. I've seen a bunch of gory films in my time, and I couldn't watch that and not flinch. It literally moved my mom to tears.

So I get back to my favorite IRC channel, and one of the regulars, who happens to be one of the most irreverent people I know, asks "Whodunnit?"

My response: "If I were God, the High Priest of the Sanhedrin would be on the Go To Hell, Go Straight To Hell, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Shekels List."

Briefly...

A little quote from Gryphon that caught my fancy: "There are the huge, towering problems that sometimes seem completely insurmountable and demoralizing, like my apparent inability to get hired by anyone who isn't a complete asshole, or the fact that I'm living in a timid century and won't live to see the next great age of exploration, or the way the government seems to get a little more sinister and manipulative every day and there doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do to stop it.

And then there are the things that are just really, really annoying."

I could think of millions of things and people at my job that fit the latter description: the alarms on the freezer doors that go off whenever we're too harried to close them; the people who answer "fried rice" when you ask them what kind of rice they want, like they can't see that you have THREE DIFFERENT VARIETIES of said food right under their noses; and the one PITA coworker who had the unmitigated GALL to say I never help with the cleaning, even though I went to do the dishes and was instructed by our collective manager to go up front to help the servers out because we were getting slammed, and on top of all that, this witch was within earshot when I offered to clean the front windows on the heat table that everybody and their dog who comes through the line loves to put their fingers on, only to be instructed to stay on the serving line and help there.

Congratulations, V.G., you are the first female cockbite to be recorded since I started documenting them.

Memewatch (Third-Hand Version)

This is third-hand because I got it from Chris (who got it from Matt):



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

And now, my own comparably pathetic list of countries:



create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period

Don't look now, things just got worse
I'm drunk again
I swear, this crescent is just a curse
I got here... by killing off all my friends
I think I've figured it out
My life begins when the fun ends

I got my wings
I'm free to go as I please
Yeah, I got my wings
Now nothing really pleases me

'Til everything falls apart
Then I get to try to put it back together
Yeah, it falls apart
And you can count on that
You can count on bad, bad weather again

Was it good?
I don't remember much about it
When things start to feel right
You can count on me to start to doubt it
And the devil's not in the details
No, the devil is in my pants
And it's shoot first, apologize later
Another quick and new sure-shot romance

Well, I got what I wanted
Now I don't want anything
Yeah, I got what I wanted
Now my life is just boring

'Til everything falls apart
Then I get to try to put it back together
Yeah, it falls apart
And you can count on that
You can count on bad weather this year

I met God this afternoon
Riding on an uptown train
I said, "Don't You have better things to do?"
He said, "If I do My job, what would you complain about?
So I let it go to hell, now I'll have something to do"
He said, "I'll let it go to hell
Does that sound familiar to you?"

Well, everything falls apart
Then I get to try to put it back together
Yeah, it falls apart
And you can count on that
You can count on bad, bad weather--

Well, everything that falls apart, baby
Sooner or later, gonna come back together
Well, everything that comes together, hey,
Sooner or later gonna fall apart again
And you can call it anything you want
They're gonna take it all away from you
You're gonna wake up, wake up, wake up,
And find yourself lost again...

-- Dog's Eye View
"Everything Falls Apart"
Happy Nowhere (1997)