It's Christmas! Collect Presents!

A coupla days late, herewith the list of Christmas loot:

• Mid-size tube of Tootsie Rolls (like that'll last long aboard ship)


• Chocolate-covered cherries (the fact they're in a box I haven't opened yet is proof positive they've lasted that long)


• Multi-light flashlight (a little less bulky than the one I got one year and none of them went with me to Japan)


• And the star of the show: a Canon PowerShot A75 digital camera.

Ok, halfway decent haul, but then again, last year I got lifted out of some pretty dire straits by my entire family, and that was a very touching gesture that I'd be remiss not to mention.

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 27 December 2K4

I've been sittin' here
Tryin' to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself

Lookin' for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man
Bleeds just like me

And I feel like Number One
Yet I'm last in line
I watch my youngest son
And it helps to pass the time

I take too many pills
It helps to ease the pain
I made a couple dollar bills
Still I feel the same

Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck with me
It's hard to hang out in crowds

I guess that's the price you pay
To be some big shot, like I am
Outstretched hands and one-night-stands
Still I can't find love

And when your walls come tumblin' down
I will always be around...
Yeah

And when your walls come tumblin' down
I will always be around...

People don't know...
About the things I say and do
They don't understand
About the shit that I've been through

It's been so long...
Since I've been home
I've been gone...
I've been gone for way too long

Maybe I forgot
All the things that I miss
Somehow I know
There's more to life than this

I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve

Still I ain't seen mine...
No, I ain't seen mine...
I've been givin', I just ain't been gettin'
I've been walkin' that there line

So I think I'll keep a'walkin'
With my head held high
I keep movin' on
And only God knows why
Only God...
Only God...
Only... God knows why

Only... God knows why...

Take me to the river
Won't you take me to the river, yeah...

-- Kid Rock
"Only God Knows Why"
Devil Without A Cause (1998)

So Long, O Minister of Defense

And in other news, Reggie White kicked off.

Recipie of the Indeterminate Time Period: Clusterfuck a la Hawk

A few of the newcomers here, including the Darin Shaffer Quote Machine and myself, are convinced that a goodly number of senior and chief petty officers' morning conversations go something like this:

"Morning, Chief!"
"Morning, PO1."
"What's good with you?"
"Same old shit."

*pause*

"So, how do you want to fuck up the Indoc Division's lives today?"
"Hmmm... how about this: since the berthing barge is being shut down for renovations anyway, we introduce a plan to move half of them to the ship one day and phase the other half in on their duty days, only to scrap the plan at the last minute and move the whole toyshop aboard in one day!"
"I like it! It sings, it's got legs, and it'll make them completely miserable!"

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 24 December 2K4

Coming from a webcomic I don't read or pimp nearly enough...

HK-47ism of the Indeterminate Time Period

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope."

Yes, KOTOR 2's out and Everybody's Favorite Coppery Droid of Violence Fucking Violence is back for seconds too.

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 11 December 2K4, Part The Second

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him until he sang
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel

Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on
Make Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one!
Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
A box of tampons, some Salem Lights
Hallelujah, everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad!

-- Robert Earl Keen
"Merry Christmas From The Family"
The Party Never Ends (2003)

Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 11 December 2K4

To all you lasses in Parnassus swallowing swords
Shooting out fire at us heathen hordes
I was thinking something before I began
But then you done cut off both of my hands
Now I do my drinking from bamboo straws
Constantly kicking at tarantulas
What was I thinking, move to Baltimore?
I am the great outdoors!

Jump into the water
Keelhauled on the Constellation
Don't you sell my belongings
'Cause you know that I'll be back

Remember when I told you that I was a samurai?
Well, the fact of the matter is that was a lie
There were some other things that I'd rather not recall
Y'all can blame it all on the alcohol
But you ain't got no business criticizing me
This is my house and I'll do as I please
What was I thinking, move to Baltimore?
I am the great outdoors!

Jump into the water
Keelhauled on the Constellation
Don't you sell my belongings
'Cause you know that I'll be back

If you're in the market for green zucchini
Farmer's almanac got the largest size
Winnebago woman, whatcha cookin'?
Move it on over and give me a slice

I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics
If I could levitate, I would sell lots of tickets
And maybe do an interview with Larry King while floating

I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics
If I could levitate, I would sell lots of tickets...

Move it on over and give me a slice!

-- Clutch
"The Great Outdoors!"
Pure Rock Fury (2001)

Second-Hand Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 10 December 2K4

Gryphon posted this song to his fanfic imprint's well-known site forum, and it so completely describes the last days of my time as a civilian perfectly...

Song Of The Indeterminate Time Period, 4 December 2K4

This song currently owns me for free, and is the opening theme to the upcoming Kage no Senki, Cycle III: No Compromises. -- Jay

They fall in line, one at a time
Ready to play
(I can't see them anyway)
No time to lose, we've got to move
Steady your hand
(I am losing sight again)

Fire your guns, it's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, unless I may)
After the fall, we'll shake it off
Show me the way

Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to Heaven when we die
I am a shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all

There's nothing left, so save your breath
Lying in wait
(Caught inside this tidal wave)
Your cover's blown, nowhere to go
Holding your fate
(Only I will walk alone)

Fire your guns, it's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, unless I may)
After the fall, we'll shake it off
Show me the way

Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to Heaven when we die
I am a shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all

Wanted it back
(DON'T FIGHT ME NOW)

Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to Heaven when we die
I am a shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
Save us all...

-- Breaking Benjamin
"Blow Me Away"
Halo 2 (vol. 1) (2004)