Song of the Indeterminate Time Period, 21 December 2K9

(Guitarist Dave Carroll of the Canadian country band Sons of Maxwell had the misfortune of flying down to Omaha this summer only to find his custom guitar broken when he arrived. His protest video over the runaround he experienced from United Airlines went viral, and the Brownian motion of the internets soon brought this song over to me. I've had the good fortune of not having any luggage of mine damaged, but American did lose one of my bags on two seperate trips home from Japan. The irony of this situation is United ranks right in the middle of US carriers with baggage damage claims, but the runaround was too much. This song is proof like no other that it is unwise to annoy creative types.)

I flew United Airlines on my way to Nebraska
The plane departed Halifax, connecting in Chicago's O'Hare
While on the ground, the passenger said from the seat behind me
"My God, they're throwing guitars out there!"

The band and I exchanged a look best described as "terror"
At the action on the tarmac, and knowing whose projectiles these would be
So before I left Chicago, I alerted three employees
Who showed complete indifference towards me

United (united)
You broke my Taylor guitar
United (united)
Some big help you are
You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else or gone by car
'Cause United breaks guitars

When we landed in Nebraska, I confirmed what I'd suspected
My Taylor had been the victim of a vicious act of malice at O'Hare
And so began a year-long saga of pass the buck, "don't ask me"
And "I'm sorry, sir, your claim can go nowhere"

So, to all the airlines people, from New York to New Delhi
Including kind Ms. Irlweg, who says the final word from them is "no"
I've heard all your excuses, and I've chased your wild gooses
And this attitude of yours I say must go

United (united)
You broke my Taylor guitar
United (united)
Some big help you are
You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else or gone by car
'Cause United breaks guitars

Well, I won't say that I'll never fly with you again 'cause maybe
To save the world, I probably would, but that won't likely happen
And if it did, I wouldn't bring my luggage
'Cause you'd just go and break it
Into a thousand pieces, just like you broke my heart
When United breaks guitars

United (united)
You broke my Taylor guitar
United (united)
Some big help you are
You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else or gone by car
'Cause United breaks guitars

Yeah, United breaks guitars

-- Dave Carroll
"United Breaks Guitars"
United Breaks Guitars (2009)